How To Become Friends With Gary Vaynerchuck

Q:

@garyvee Here u go: How does garyvee choose his real friends and how does it impact your life? (hope u like the question)

— Adriano Marinelli (@MarinelliSauce) June 7,

2014

A:

I’ve done business with Adriano in the past, and I would consider him a “close acquaintance,” which is probably the root of his question! If he lived in NYC, and I wasn’t so busy 24/7-365 he’d probably go from an acquaintance to a lightweight friend.

Anyway, I think this is a very interesting question. A lot of people talk about social media and numbers like “700 friends,” and get upset with it.

“These aren’t your real friends,” is always the response. Setting aside the subjectivity of what it means to be a “friend” in real life, the idea of having that many connections on a social platform is something that is interesting to think about. The thing that I look at isn’t the increase in the number of “friendships,” but the way that we’re going through the golden era of the acquaintance.

I basically have 20 more friends now than I had in 2009 when I started Wine Library TV. At the same time, I have maybe 17,000 more acquaintances. That is really fascinating to me (and probably the foundation of a more in-depth blog post to come), but let me get back to the original question.

The way I choose my friends is completely predicated on one thing: Life is hard enough, and there are a lot of people in your life that you can’t pick (although I’ve been pretty fortunate in that regard), so when I have the luxury of picking, the number one thing I’m looking for is ease.

Of course I want someone who brings me happiness, and shares my interests, but most of all, I want someone who makes it easy. I want a friendship I don’t have to work for, a relationship that comes naturally. You don’t expect anything, and I don’t expect anything, other than the friendship. That, to me, is gold.