So, you’re drinking your wine at Thanksgiving (or apple juice if you’re under 21) and somebody’s coming at you hard. Yelling at you about bad grades, or that you’re not settled down, or that you’re debating whether you want to go to college, or yelling that you’re not making enough money. Just yelling, yelling, yelling. So, what do you do when somebody’s coming at you, just filling the air with negativity and judgement? Here’s how to deal with negativity at the Thanksgiving dinner table.
The Number One Way To Deal: Kindness
The number one thing you can do is bring it back to them. Reverse it and be kind. If they come at you, you put the mirror up. Uncle Sal, why are you trying to dump on me at Thanksgiving? If someone is trying to dump on someone during the year of Covid they obviously have some things going on. Ask if there’s anything you can do for them. Try, Mom, I know you’re upset but if you’re actually getting this mad at me during Thanksgiving in a Covid year you must be in a really bad place. Instead of fighting your mom, ask her if she’s okay. Think about where you really want to put your energy.
The Number One Clapback: The Reverse Uno
Is there a better card than the Uno Reverse? I don’t think so. So, here’s my reverse uno for Thanksgiving. Say Uncle comes in hot, being neagtive. Your mom’s upset that you haven’t settled down yet. The ultimate uno reverse card on family dynamics during Thanksgiving is actually an interesting one.
The number one clapback during Thanksgiving is: because I don’t want your life. Make it kind, but let’s call it what it is, VaynerNation. Thanksgiving is always a beast. It’s brutal. Mom and Daddy and Auntie and Uncle and Grandpa and Grandma–there’s a lot of eyes on you. Why are your grades so low? Why are you in this type of job? Why aren’t you married? Where’s your baby? See, what I need most people to understand is that the people who are pressuring you at Thanksgiving are doing so because they want you to live the life that they think you should live. It’s similar to the one they lived. You unlikely, highly unlikely, want that life.
Explain this to them and be the bigger person. I love you grandma but I don’t want your life. So I’m gonna live mine. Then, you live yours. The reverse uno is a great clapback during Thanksgiving!
The Number One Move: Compassion
If you need to, try this sentence: Mom I know you love me and I know you want me to have a boyfriend (or a girlfriend, or have a child, or get married, or get a new job) and I love you for caring about me so much. But mom, I’m happy. I don’t know if you’re happy (that’s the zing) but I’m happy and I love you. Thanks for caring about me but I’m good and I got this. So stay patient with me..
People that come with heat are usually hurt. Compassion is the move this Thanksgiving.
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